# This was helpful
**URL:** https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986
**Category:** General
**Created:** [January 18, 2014, 12:21pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986 "2014-01-18T12:21:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 17
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Marie\_T1](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Marie_T1)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2014, 12:21pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/1 "2014-01-18T12:21:05Z")
Hi All
I found this very helpful for my present state of mind and low self esteem.It may help someone.
Marie
ps This is an extract from a website sent by one of my disabled friends on Facebook
No matter the type of person, there are lessons to be learned from them. People with disabilities are especially influential, as our hardships in life aren't easily forgotten. We go through every day with determination and strength, which many people are bowled over by, with many secretly wondering if they could do the same thing.
People with a disabilities learn so much throughout their lives; life lessons that able-bodied people rarely get to experience.
Having a disability is definitely difficult, but it's also one of the richest classrooms a human can experience, too. While these learning experiences are more profound experienced directly, there are some special tokens of wisdom we can pass along.
**1) True happiness is really possible in a "broken" body.**
Most say they would rather die than live with a disability, which makes me laugh. That's because most able-bodied people can't imagine being happy if their body was ever permanently broken. But the truth is that the human brain is very adept at transitioning into someone with a disability, if you let it, that is.
I thought I would never be happy again. But a few years after becoming paralyzed, I was happy. I found happiness through simply being alive, and through family and friends. I still wish I could walk again, but true happiness resides in me.
**2) Patience can get you through almost anything.**
You're told as a little kid how important patience is and as an adult you come to see how true this really is. But when you have a disability, the patience required is at a whole new level. Very often we have to wait longer for all types of things and over time we become masters at honing in on it. Patience has even helped me emotionally get over my physical inabilities in certain occasions.
**3) Accidents can and will happen.**
When you hear about people becoming disabled through an accident, you always think it could never happen to you, and you almost look at it like a TV show or movie -- something that could never be your reality. But the cold-hard truth is that accidents that cause disabilities happen every day, and they could likely happen to you or someone you know. The realness of this possibility is tangible in all lives, but when you have a disability you're just a bit more aware of it.
_[See also: 7 Examples Of Discrimination Most People With Disabilities Experience Every Day](http://www.themobilityresource.com/7-examples-of-discrimination-most-people-with-disabilities-experience-every-day/)_
**4) Disability can happen to anyone.**
Maybe no congenital disabilities run your family, but say your first baby had cerebral palsy. It's shocking suddenly finding yourself in the camp of either being disabled or the family member of one. The wisdom here is to never forget we are all imperfect physical beings, and to never think you're exempt. We will all die one day and we're all human.
**5) Don't sweat the little things.**
Since having a disability can be rather stressful -- broken wheelchairs, health insurance cuts, caregivers suddenly quitting -- we learn early on to not let our stress levels get too high. If we did, none of us would make it past 40. We are confronted with crazy things all the time, so we learn to prioritize what is really worth freaking out over. That is why so many of us seem so zen-like. The movie is sold out? The restaurant has a two-hour wait? No biggie. It could always be worse.
**6) Being different is an opportunity.**
Most people don't like being different or standing out. You have the outgoing Venice Beach type people of the world, but generally most people don't want to be noticed. However, it's not as bad as you'd think. In fact, when you live the life as someone who's different, you learn right away it has its cool moments. You get to meet amazing people and get in on special opportunities. When you're vanilla, no one notices.
**7) Fitting in is overrated.**
When you have a disability, you pretty much have a free-for-all card to be exactly who you want to be since fitting in with the "in" crowd is impossible anyways and embracing this can be one of the most freeing feelings ever. You don't need to fit in to feel good about yourself or to think you "belong." You belong to yourself, we know this. And that feeling is amazing.
**8) You can't judge a person by their looks.**
You hear it all the time, don't judge a book by its cover. From Stephen Hawking, a man in a wheelchair who can't speak and is one of the smartest people in the world to Francesco Clark, a quadriplegic and CEO of a huge beauty product company, don't ever think a disability is equitable to someone who is not impressive or successful. You never know what someone with a disability is capable of.
**9) Life is short. Embrace everything.**
Having a disability can also, unfortunately, have an impact on your lifespan. For many of us, living to 95 isn't probably going to happen, which is why most people with disabilities have figured out the secret to life -- enjoy each day as if it were our last. We all try to do this in our own way, but many of us fail. People with disabilities however, have gotten it down to an art form, from enjoying the sun rays to a warm cup of coffee, we know how hard life can be so we know how to embrace the good things when they present themselves.
**10) Weakness isn't always a negative**
Just like the notion "it takes a village," being weak or disabled isn't necessarily a negative thing. When living with a disability, you learn to be OK with receiving help, and over time, many of us realize that we all need help in our own way, even athletes and the President of United States. It's unavoidable and part of the human experience.
There's no getting around it, having a disability is certainly a difficult ticket in life, but the life lessons to be had without question make it a near VIP experience. And hey, the free parking is a nice perk, too.
_What wisdom have you learned from someone with a disability?_
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### Author:  [@Patsy](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Patsy)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2014, 2:44pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/2 "2014-01-18T14:44:22Z")
thanks for sharing xx
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### Author:  [@Mark\_Groenwold](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Mark_Groenwold)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2014, 3:08pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/3 "2014-01-18T15:08:35Z")
Nice .
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### Author:  [@twirlie\_girl](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/twirlie_girl)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2014, 3:40pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/4 "2014-01-18T15:40:38Z")
I have learned; To stand up for myself, to the doctors who kept telling me nothing is wrong you are not sick. I kept saying I don’t feel good, something is wrong…they would just give me some simple explanation of it is xxx or xyz. I always knew it was much more than a simple explanation…finally this last neuro doc said "I am working with my colleague and studying your MRI and we believe you have a neurodegenerative disorder. I learned; just because the doctors might have years and years of college doesn’t mean they know about my body…I am the expert here and they need to listen to me.
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### Author:  [@Martin\_O](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Martin_O)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2014, 3:53pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/5 "2014-01-18T15:53:25Z")
Thanks Marie, good article!!!
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### Author:  [@Glitter\_on\_Butterfli](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Glitter_on_Butterfli)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2014, 4:14pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/6 "2014-01-18T16:14:35Z")
I love #5; it’s my favorite…right now, anyway.
Also, with the VIP thing, I now feel inspired to make a new sticker for my wheelchair, next to “babe magnet”. I love it; great perspective to adopt if that’s not already in your DNA.
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### Author:  [@Cicina](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Cicina)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2014, 5:19pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/7 "2014-01-18T17:19:08Z")
Great post. Thanks Marie!
Twirlie girl you are absolutely right. I too keep at the doctors for answers. One doctor once told his nurse, speaking about me “I have learned that when Mrs X… talks, you listen…” I knew then, that he was taking me seriously and that was rewarding.
I am not blaming doctors. They cannot possibly know everything. But yes , some need to understand that they do not know everything and that because they have never heard of this or that illness, it does not exist.
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### Author:  [@Beryl\_Park](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Beryl_Park)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2014, 6:55pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/8 "2014-01-18T18:55:49Z")
Thanks Marie!
I read the link to discrimination as well. I liked the idea of blocking someone in if they used a disabled parking space without a permit! xB
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### Author:  [@Gfgirlo1](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Gfgirlo1)
#### Post date: [January 18, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/9 "2014-01-18T19:40:52Z")
Thanks, Marie. I’ve learned we are “special”. We get freight elevator access and backstage glimpes, front of tour bus seats, free parking, shorter boarding queues, etc. lots of folks treat us special because they are kind. I am grateful my family can enjoy these with me. Life is good. Sharon
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### Author:  [@rose1](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/rose1)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2014, 4:39am UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/10 "2014-01-19T04:39:46Z")
I really enjoyed reading your post, Marie! Words to live by! It lifted my spirits, as I fell backwards yesterday, and hit the back of my head on the lower edge of the kitchen cabinets, cutting it two inches. Fortunately, my dear husband was home, and because he's a ski patroller, is trained in first aide. He controlled the bleeding, bandaged me up and took me to emergency at the hospital. I'm now sporting quite a lump, as well as nine staples in my head. Because I didn't black out or have other symptoms, I didn't need any imaging. I have to wait 24 hours to wash my hair. Therefore, my hair is bright pink on the back of my head...,I look like a punk rocker...,ha! (no offense to anyone with "colored" hair!). Anyway, thanks for sharing! ;o)
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### Author:  [@Glitter\_on\_Butterfli](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Glitter_on_Butterfli)
#### Post date: [January 19, 2014, 3:56pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/11 "2014-01-19T15:56:01Z")
Rose - that’s horrible. I hope that everything turns out the way that you want it to.
I applaud your effort, and it might be too soon to think about this, but what would you do differently next time?
BTW, my hair’s currently blonde, but it’s been purple, black, red, and strawberry-blonde - pink’s the next reasonable choice 🙂
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### Author:  [@Lori1](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Lori1)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2014, 3:15pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/12 "2014-01-21T15:15:34Z")
Marie Thanks good reading!
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### Author:  [@Lori1](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Lori1)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2014, 3:17pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/13 "2014-01-21T15:17:14Z")
rose said:
> I really enjoyed reading your post, Marie! Words to live by! It lifted my spirits, as I fell backwards yesterday, and hit the back of my head on the lower edge of the kitchen cabinets, cutting it two inches. Fortunately, my dear husband was home, and because he's a ski patroller, is trained in first aide. He controlled the bleeding, bandaged me up and took me to emergency at the hospital. I'm now sporting quite a lump, as well as nine staples in my head. Because I didn't black out or have other symptoms, I didn't need any imaging. I have to wait 24 hours to wash my hair. Therefore, my hair is bright pink on the back of my head...,I look like a punk rocker...,ha! (no offense to anyone with "colored" hair!). Anyway, thanks for sharing! ;o)Oh Rose I hope all goes well. I am so so sorry for you!
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### Author:  [@Lorraine\_L](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Lorraine_L)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2014, 9:28pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/14 "2014-01-22T21:28:40Z")
I would like to imprint those words on my brain. thank you for sharing.
lorraine
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### Author:  [@Katie\_F](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/Katie_F)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2014, 12:12am UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/15 "2014-01-24T00:12:28Z")
This is very positive and just what I needed to hear today. \<3
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### Author:  [@James\_E\_H](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/James_E_H)
#### Post date: [February 19, 2014, 9:32pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/16 "2014-02-19T21:32:38Z")
Thanks for sharing Marie, Words of Wisdom
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### Author:  [@greytdogz](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/u/greytdogz)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 6:58pm UTC](https://forum.livingwithataxia.org/t/this-was-helpful/1986/17 "2014-02-20T18:58:16Z")
Very inspirational! Thank you.