Having a rough time

hi everyone,although this topic is not directly involved with ataxia,(i have episodic ataxia type 2), i just need some support at the moment.last Friday my wife gave birth to a still-born baby.it was our first child.all through her pregnancy everything was going fine,apart from the 20week scan,which showed her placenta was low lying.so she had another scan at 36weeks,and her placenta was fine this time.then she had another scan at 38weeks,and again everything was fine.then about 4days before due,my wife tells me baby is not moving so much,so we go to hospital and after several midwifes,and then consultant,they couldn't find a heartbeat for baby.and were told it had died inside my wife.i cant understand what went wrong.we are having a post mortem(autopsy).hopefully that wil give some answers.my wife and her friend were wondering if the baby had an episodic ataxia attack and died that way.but EA2 is not life threatening.my wife has always been healthy and took her vitamins....mayb there is someone on this site,who knows someone who has suffered in this way...the baby was 8lbs 1and half oz.so was healthy weight.but delivery was awkward,and wife needed quite a few stitches.mayb we will try again one day....im 53 and wife is 37,she really wanted baby by 40...sorry to go on and on about this,but me and wife really just need support......thanks everyone.......firefox

I am so sorry!!!

I wish I had an answer for you. Having been a cop/chaplain for years I have consoled families for many years. I hope that the autopsy explains the issue. I pray that the big A is not the cause because, you two would be so devoted to raising a child with more love than most folks You have the benefit of being parents who know the value of life. I pray for you to make the right decision in the days that come during your mourning and be thankful for the glorious time you had carrying the child. Do not give up there is a reason for everything as there was here. It is quiet clear that you are meant to have children or, you would not have gone this far. In any case you are in our thoughts and prayers. I am here for you if you need someone to talk with.



How Terrible Firefox! Don't stop trying! I hope you find an answer! So sorry!

Mydaughter developed this illness of pregnancy called pre-eclampsiya. Her son was born way too soon. He is still payingthe price for his premarurity. Her subsequent traumas included a still-born (not term). In NYC, she found a hi-risk maternity medical group, who were willing to take her on. She was monitred very very carefully by them and a hematologist. Three healthy, full-term births ensued, thank God. Your wife should not wait too long and see a hi-risk expert pronto. There's nothing like 'replacement therapy.' Good luck!

I am so sorry for your loss. My husband lost his first daughter (from previous marriage) as a stillborn. It's still the hardest thing he's ever had to experience. That was 30 years ago, and the thought of that day still brings him to weep. He has the hope that he will see her again in heaven.

I can't imagine a more heartbreaking thing. I'll be praying for you and your wife for comfort. Don't let this come between you and her in your marriage. NO blaming. You may never know why this happened.

I'd like to suggest you and your wife find a local support group for this loss. Many churches and other organizations have such support groups. You're going to need it.

Oh! I am so sorry about the loss of your precious little baby. I am very saddened, and I cannot find words to help you.
Just know that you are both in my thoughts and prayers. I am sure your little one is now a little angel watching over you…

This is truly heart breaking for you both, I’m so sorry for your loss.

Dear Firefox, My deepest sympathy to you and your wife! You are not 'alone' in this, as you have love and support right here on this site! We are here for you...

Hi Firefox,

so sorry for your wife and you. Will pray for you and the deceased baby.

Kind regards,


I have nothing to add except my prayers for you and your wife.

My wife and I were unable to have children. We wanted several. Although I can’t imagine your grief right now, I have some experience with the disappointment. I would be more than happy to talk with you, or my wife with yours.

May God bless you during this terrible time.

How awful for you both.As John says "Stay Strong".It is a physical and mental battle for both of you.

I am so sad for you and your wife. Hang in there and try again soon. Adoption is an option.

keep courage and strong dont ever give up, i believe there is good and bad for everyone

So sorry for you both
Please support each other

So sorry for you both
Please support each other

I too am very sorry to hear of your loss.

Best wishes to you both

Dear Firefox

I haven't any answers..wish I had...just wanted to give you a Cyberspace [[[[hug]]]]. I had a few miscarriages between my first child and 2nd child.... the last one being twins and a late one...many years ago now..today it would have been classified as viable and not a miscarriage. I went on to have two other healthy children. Although I wasn't 37...I was 34...in those days they considered me to be "an older mother". Most ladies were having children in their early 20's. I do know of many others who have been in you and your wife's position and gone on to have a healthy child. I will keep both of you in my thoughts...TassieRose

So sorry! Losing a child at any age is the most difficult thing for parents. Stay strong, and you are in our thoughts and prayers.

I am so very sorry for your loss. My first three pregnancies ended the same and you have my sympathy… The only positive thing that I can say is that I went on to have two boys who are 19 and 16. Miracles can happen. Don’t give up hope and stay strong for each other. God bless xxx