Seeing me, the person

My mother was bringing to mind that there someone who was not phased by my wheelchair . I have such high walls I am overly concerned about people seeing me, not just my chair I need to give people more of a chance, instead of just assuming that they don’t see me .

That’s my problem I think people are looking at me. I guess we just have to face the fact and don’t worry about them.

You're right.

Many people just are shy with wheelchair folks. I try to catch others eyes and smile, make a joke etc. There will always be those that don't see those in wheelchairs. People who talk to my husband as if I can't hear or understand what they are saying. Oh well. In the mean time there are wonderful folks who are looking for an opening. Children in particular are quite curious. I like to wink at the little ones with a big smile.

You have a beautiful smile, Liz. Use it! :-)

Dear Liz Weeks, Being in a wheelchair DOESN'T define who you are as a person! Be proud of that and ignore people who stare or don't see you, as that's their problem, not yours. I use a cane and am always delighted at people who smile at me, as I smile right back! Most people are very kind, as well as helpful. You are seen by the people in your life that really matter! My best to you..., ;o)

Thanks, you all are so right!

Good point. I read a book many years ago called Look Me in the Eye. While the book was about how people seem not to look at older folks and for example if a younger person is with an old adult people will direct their inquiry to the younger person instead of directly to the elder.

My partner a bit younger and mobile simply says to them "ask her".

Hello Liz..same story here. Lately I'm just smiling about all those butts and bellies I am looking at:) and what a view we have at times, right. Whenever I get the chance to sit down on a normal chair or couch I take it and my husband puts the 'wheels' somewhere else. That takes away a major barrier. Try it..it works:):) Hugs from Holland, Elle.

Your wheelchair is what you use to get around it doesn't define you as a person. People don't always see that. I think some people are just uncomfortable and don't know how to react. Sometimes you have to make the first move.



Elle Strik said:

Hello Liz..same story here. Lately I'm just smiling about all those butts and bellies I am looking at:) and what a view we have at times, right. Whenever I get the chance to sit down on a normal chair or couch I take it and my husband puts the 'wheels' somewhere else. That takes away a major barrier. Try it..it works:):) Hugs from Holland, Elle.

Some of those views can be a bit horrendous too, I do the same (transferring) and usually get amusement from the viewers expressions.

Hey Liz,

I think this is something most “wheelers” have to deal with at times, when I first started going out in my chair I used to make sure my friends were prepared for this too and I remember one friend was horrified when people would completely ignore me and just talk to him that he stood in the middle of a Costa’s and announced to the customers that I was able to understand everything, that the chair was an aid not a label, one lady approached us and thanked him for his outburst because she had a daughter who felt it pointless going out because everyone would act like she was mentally impaired.

Since then I have become a stubborn bugger and refuse to be treated like I’m fragile or be ignored. And I love winding people (I know it’s a bit awful of me) but when a lady the other day asked my friend what was wrong with me I smiled and asked her husband what was wrong with her, her husband was highly amused and announced she had “stuck-up syndrome”, to which I was happy to share that there was nothing wrong with me but I did have a condition that caused a beautiful array of difficulties. When I’d finished my brief explanation, she looked highly ashamed and apologised.

It’s hard to let people in, but I have found that being super open about my condition and my preferences people are usually relieved that they don’t have to guess how to handle me.

Remember the wheelchair doesn’t give away your illness, and some people don’t like to assume what your illness is, and are often scared to say the wrong thing too. Like people asking what’s wrong with your legs when it’s a neuro condition xx

you are you, just be that