@majdr, I’m so sorry that you’re going through such a rough patch. I’m guessing that this is a fairly new diagnosis. You’ve had a lot of changes in your life, and it’s not uncommon to grieve the loss of your life prior to developing this. In addition, you’ve had major financial and family changes.
Please seek out help! There are crisis numbers listed here. You can also seek out a therapist locally. There’s no shame in asking for help.
Sharon