I am finding out I get easily confused. It’s embarrassing sometimes. I used to talk a lot to people, but now I feel like some things I say are totally out there, or don’t make any sense. Then people look at me like I’m nuts. I was talking to my one friend, and said something so stupid, and she started laughing at me and I felt so stupid. Should I just keep quiet? And save myself from embarrassment?
Could you explain to your friend that you find it embarrassing when she laughs at you??
I had a tradesman around the other day and kept mixing up my words, I said I had a migraine (not untrue) and said it affected my words - he was cool with it!
However, to answer your question, NO, don't keep quiet.
Just my $0.02, but sometimes I say things that make no sense whatsoever - the people around me bear with it. If they laugh it is usually because what have said is funny, so they are laughing at that, not at me. I'm not going to change myself to please them and avoid possible embarrassment - I figure that if people laugh at me, then they aren't really people I want around me anyway - I want those who can understand this plight we all face.
I try to keep quiet by sometimes I just dont care.. you have to learn to laugh, not dwell on things and move forward. Easier said than done but you did ask [wink]. Just remember, those people are no more important than you.
Take care, Patsy
Hi! I can really empathise with this.
Getting tongue tied and using the wrong words to describe something
is something that’s happened to me.
Something that still haunts me, I told a new neighbour that the previous
lady had lots of stuffed animals dotted around. They were soft toys but
I just couldn’t think of the right word and that’s what came out!
It’s really hard joining in conversations when you can’t get your brain
in gear, I understand how easy it is to cut yourself off from social
interaction, even with friends.
Just keeping up my end of the conversation with a friend has at times
been exhausting, the concentration involved wore me out. We’d go
shopping, which involved walking and carrying on a conversation at
the same time, multi tasking, some days it’s too much to ask.
Lots of times I could have just died with embarrassment but so what,
nobody’s perfect. A smile and a knowing look says a thousand words! xB
I use to talk a lot to. More then I do now. But their is a lot we have to say. All my loved ones understand. Yes it is getting very hard to talk. But we have to!
Dear Butterflyflyaway, Maybe it's my age (60), but I just don't really care what others think anymore! Yes, I do want others to understand me, so those that know I have ataxia and slur my speech, understand. Those that don't know me I will usually tell them I have a neurological disease. It causes me to slur my speech, and if they don't understand something I've said, please ask me to repeat myself. It helps to avoid the "deer in the headlights" stares...,ha! Hence, I find people to be very kind, overall. I just speak slowly and form my words the best I can. Also, if I'm having a really hard time talking or concentrating, I'm a great listener! My grandfather always said, "if you're doing all the talking, you NEVER learn anything"! Words of wisdom and so true! And, one must learn to laugh at themselves, as others have said, and not take life so personally! It's very liberating and refreshing, in my opinion!...,ha! My best to you..., ;o)
Just not talking today,
I am in the mist of evaluating some of my friendships.
This is what happened; I had two dinner dates with girlfriends each were picking me up. The experience was completely different with each one.
- First girlfriend picks me up, sits in the car talking on the phone while I manage to carefully make it down a flight of stairs and walk a house down. We went to the reasturant she walked fast and was twenty feet ahead and looked frustrated at me for not keeping up. During our conversation, she talked about herself endlessly, botox, boyfiends, kids and work, never did she ask about me and never did I speak up to say how I was doing. I felt tired and stressed when I got home.
- Second girlfriend, walks up to my door, holds on to my shoulder and watches over me as i go down the flight of stairs, offers her arm for stablity, opens the car door, carefully but casually we walk to the reasturant, chatting and having a give and take conversation. I really enjoyed getting out that night.
conclusions; it might be about the other person not even about you or your Ataxia
best wishes and talk away.
Hi - I get that “you’re so weird” look sometimes. I’ve learned to wear it as a badge of honor and try to be patient with myself. My “weirdness” makes me unique.
With each “you’re so weird” look, I’ve thickened my skin a bit, although I can be quite sensitive still at times.
I wouldn’t keep quiet if I were you; if talking/feedback from the way you talk is upsetting to you, remember that 1. If the other person has an issue with it, it’s that person’s issue and not yours (To borrow from Dr. Seuss, those who mind, don’t matter; and those who matter don’t mind). 2. Maybe a different way of communication (eg writing/email) could help organize your thoughts and words.
Thank you. This makes so much sense. She is just like the first girl, so I think it is up to me about what kind of people I hang around with.
twirlie girl said:
Just not talking today,
I am in the mist of evaluating some of my friendships.
This is what happened; I had two dinner dates with girlfriends each were picking me up. The experience was completely different with each one.
- First girlfriend picks me up, sits in the car talking on the phone while I manage to carefully make it down a flight of stairs and walk a house down. We went to the reasturant she walked fast and was twenty feet ahead and looked frustrated at me for not keeping up. During our conversation, she talked about herself endlessly, botox, boyfiends, kids and work, never did she ask about me and never did I speak up to say how I was doing. I felt tired and stressed when I got home.
- Second girlfriend, walks up to my door, holds on to my shoulder and watches over me as i go down the flight of stairs, offers her arm for stablity, opens the car door, carefully but casually we walk to the reasturant, chatting and having a give and take conversation. I really enjoyed getting out that night.
conclusions; it might be about the other person not even about you or your Ataxia
best wishes and talk away.
There are those that remain silent and thought of as a fool, and those that whenever they open their mouth remove all doubt.
Look upon it as an a advantage
If you make a mistake it is easier to gloss over
You will not be the talker you once were
So what ! Maybe you have said it already !
Provided you can communicate who needs chatter !
Talk when you can and want to only.
Regards
Barney
Keep talking Butterfly, there is no embarrassment, maybe people just laughing without understanding. I talk rubbish all the time
Well said Barney
Those who know you will understand Butterfly. As for anyone else, it's your choice whether you tell them part of your brain is broken and your speech gets a bit mixed up at times.
I have massive trouble finding words these days and sometimes when I go to say something, totally the wrong word comes out. If my speech gets mucked up when I'm trying to say something I just say to people "hang on, I'll just start that again" and usually its right the second time around.
Sometimes I'll even make a joke of it with a big smile on my face about my immune system eating the wiring in my brain, then everyone starts laughing. As I'm still teaching on a limited basis, this is what gets me through the awkward spots.
butterflyflyaway said:
Thank you. This makes so much sense. She is just like the first girl, so I think it is up to me about what kind of people I hang around with.
twirlie girl said:Just not talking today,
I am in the mist of evaluating some of my friendships.
This is what happened; I had two dinner dates with girlfriends each were picking me up. The experience was completely different with each one.
1) First girlfriend picks me up, sits in the car talking on the phone while I manage to carefully make it down a flight of stairs and walk a house down. We went to the reasturant she walked fast and was twenty feet ahead and looked frustrated at me for not keeping up. During our conversation, she talked about herself endlessly, botox, boyfiends, kids and work, never did she ask about me and never did I speak up to say how I was doing. I felt tired and stressed when I got home.
2) Second girlfriend, walks up to my door, holds on to my shoulder and watches over me as i go down the flight of stairs, offers her arm for stablity, opens the car door, carefully but casually we walk to the reasturant, chatting and having a give and take conversation. I really enjoyed getting out that night.
conclusions; it might be about the other person not even about you or your Ataxia
best wishes and talk away.