Breaking the Woe is me cycle

Hi to all,

I know (intellectually) that as symptoms and prognosis go that I am very fortunate. I am diagnosed as a "Manifesting Carrier of Friedreichs Ataxia". I am 50 years old. I cannot walk very far or stand too long. My hips and legs hurt at all times. I have lost most of my hearing and must wear hearing aids. I am developing cataracts, am borderline on becoming diabetic, extremely over weight, suffer from anxiety disorder and depression. I tend to wallow in these things far too often and have no other support system other than my wife. I work a stressful full time job and get home too tired to exercise so I can lose the weight and improve my chances against diabetes.

What a poor little baby I am...how does one break out of the downward spiral and begin living again? I will take any and all tips or suggestions. Also, if someone wants to give me a virtual slap in the face for complaining - that's all right too. My emotions are walking all over my intellect - how do I turn the tables. Talk to me. Thanks!

so am I fortunate i wasn't diagnosed until I was 60 last year can still drive at the moment. You just have to be posative you have had this since you were born and there is nothing you can do about it, My Mother had it at the same age as me. I also am overweight and dibetic and going deaf I also wear hearing aids they have changed my life I can now hear what people are saying go and see your Doctor and talk they maybe able to send you for some counciling, as for losing the weight same here I can't exercise but have now lost 4 stone by joining weight watchers its about portion size not exercise, stop feeling sorry for yourself you can do it.

Try Cognitive Behavior therapy for the depression side of things.It may help with negative thoughts.

First off, you need to have a good cry, (believe it or no,t it will help) then you pick your self up and go and see a doctor about your depression. Ask your Dr about loosing weight. If he can't help then join weight watchers as Merlin suggests. Once you have these two things under control you will feel better about yourself. You need to be stronger for yourself and also for your wife. She is also suffering, watching you go through all of this. I hope this helps. I wish you all the best.

the other suggestions were good[take them] you need to be strong for your wife, tell her yourplans and ask her to help you my husband asked mefor help

THE SUGGESTIONS WERE GOOD TAKE THEM. YOU NEED TO BE STRONG FOR YOUR WIFE AND TELL HER YOUR PLANS AND ASK HER TO HELP YOU IT WILL MAKE HER FEEL GOOD TO KNOW YOU NEED HER HELP TOO. MY HUBBY ASKED FOR MY HELP,AND I WOULD FEEL GOOD THAT HE ASKED. THIS WILL WORK IF YOU STCK TO IT

IF YOU LET IT. YOUR A GOOD LOOKING Man AND I KNOW YOULL MAKE IT WORK IF YOU HAVE THE FAITH

WE ALL LOVE YOU BRO JAN [KEEP IN TOUCH]

Mark, it just takes a leap of faith. You might be tired after work, but I suggest that to start with one thing. You can ask your wife to drop you off 1 block away from home, and you can walk home. As you become stronger you can ask to have your wife to drop you off further and further drom home. As for the pain in your joints I recommend Replenex by Melaleuca.

Hi Mark, I'm 59 years young and was diagnosed with Sporadic Cerebellar Ataxia (non-hereditary/unknown cause) 10 years ago. It's progressing, albeit slowly. I take an anti-depressant (started on it several years ago for another health problem, not ataxia). Initially, I had a hard time accepting all the changes, and I saw a therapist for this, which helped. I retired from my job of 28 years as asocial worker 7 years ago due to ataxia. I admire you for still working! I joined Weight Watchers 3 years ago as I was pre-diabetic. I've lost 30 LBS thus far and would like to lose 30 more. FYI-for ever LB you lose, you take 6 LBs of weight off joints. I'm no longer pre-diabetic and my joint don;
't ache like they use to. I don't care how long it takes to lose the weight, as I can't be as active as I used to be due to ataxia. I exercise for strength and balance, and although I use a cane, I try to walk as much as possible. I try to keep a positive outlook, as although I can't control having ataxia, I can control my attitude! I have mini-pity parties, but they're short lived, as I try to focus on what I can still do, rather than what I can't. I won't give up or give in though! This site is wonderful for understanding and support! You are not alone in your journey! ;o)

What helps me allot is choosing what I want my life to look like then making a plan with baby steps to achieve it. I post notes to myself where I will see that like next to the mirror, computer ( I did the day before. It's so easy to fall into a rut of not doing anything. I think it's just a choice we can make to discipline myself or not with food, life style changes anything actually.

What I choose is a pay off, something that makes me happy that I do after I do something that isn't as pleasant (usually something small but it is my carrot that I change all the time) (example:5 mins on a treadmill or stretching I can take a shower or scrapbook a page(my hobby) something I get to do as a treat. Something I normally don't have or make much time to do).

Eating something that is healthy and good for me in moderation after a few days and getting on the scale to see that it's lower or fitting into a pair of older pants that I couldn't feels great. So the feeling is what gets me to do it again. I try to focus on eating healthier not loosing weight and it just will happen. I play tricks with myself and change thing that I normally do to do them differently. I feel it's mental exercise too.

All these tips are great ideas!

I hope that works for you too.

I keep from feeling too bad about my FA by knowing that there are people in this world that would be happy to change lives with me in a heartbeat. Then I realize how grateful I am to have had my life, my past, my current, and knock on wood whatever the future holds. That saying "things could always be worse" makes me think about if my issues are really that bad compared to what they could be or even compared to someone elses situation. Anything I miss doing theres people that never even got the chance to do these things. Could I honestly have a conversation with my cousin who also has FA (he got it far earlier and more severe) and tell him about how I feel bad that my ex more or less dumped me due to my limitations when hes never even had a gf? So yeah my relationship ended but I wouldnt trade my memories of it to spare myself my feelings about how it ended. I know this kid would of loved to of done the things that I could feel bad about not being able to do anymore so instead of feeling bad about the things I can no longer do I feel grateful that I was able to do those things at all. To me "woe" is a matter of perspective. I could feel bad I havent been married but theres someone out there that has never even been in love. I dont have kids but theres someone out there that hasnt even been intimate with someone. I might feel tired and sore from exercise but theres someone out there tired and sore from doing some sort of torturous manual labor just to be able to buy enough to eat. Theres just so much to be grateful for that its hard for me to feel bad too long (yes it happens on occasion!) Its not about comparing your suffering to others suffering if thats how it sounds its about its about learning to not feel "woe" by finding things your grateful for.

At this ripe age of 68, life continues to present me with difficult challenges in areas that i least expect. Amongst other roles, i am a retired therapist. I highly recommend learning a powerful technique to help move through this issues. Sounds too easy, yet it works. Simply follow along with the videos in order to apply to oneself. Please give yourself a break and watch a few of the videos, tapping as you watch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3M9LuKzRYwE

START TODAY. No excuses. Today, not tomorrow, not when it's convenient. You're an intelligent man. You know what to do. Do it. As my husband would say, "Man up!".

No living in the past. Live in the present. Move forward. Getting healthier will help with the depression. It's a vicious cycle that you are going to break.

NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING HEALTHY FEELS.

Eat real whole foods. You can eat a lot of apples, squash, beans, lettuce, oranges, etc without over eating. I eat large amounts of food everyday. But it's all real whole foods. Processed foods just mess with your body. If your body gets the nutrients it needs the hunger will go away.

You can track what you eat and exercise on "My Fitness Pal" for free. Exercise 30 minutes 6 days a week. Nothing fancy. Find what you CAN do and DO IT.

You can pay the farmer now, or pay the doctor later. Your choice. When you loose the weight your joints will feel better.

Dr Joel Fuhrman is the best when it comes on what to eat. It's radical but effective.

Just for the record, I had to lose 80 lbs a few years ago. I did and I've kept it off. You can too. :-)

I smiled while reading your post. I just got back from vacation with family and realized just how simple foods as meds sounds but man how they really make a huge difference for me too! I think that is much more than 1/2 the battle coping with depression. Having the right foods really does open up our life for allowing better things to come into our life.

For me believing in something higher and outside of myself which I call God for me, helps me with every step (literally) that I take. Because I surrender (say Uncle and give up and let God work) he helps me out. There have been studies of what how praying really helps people and their brain. I know some people are resistant and I was too until I became so broken. I didn't feel I had any other choice but to try praying and reading in the Bible. At first and still do now I have to ask while praying for him to help me understand what I read and to point me to where he wants me to read there and he always gives me a message for the day.



Julie in Colorado said:

START TODAY. No excuses. Today, not tomorrow, not when it's convenient. You're an intelligent man. You know what to do. Do it. As my husband would say, "Man up!".

No living in the past. Live in the present. Move forward. Getting healthier will help with the depression. It's a vicious cycle that you are going to break.

NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING HEALTHY FEELS.

Eat real whole foods. You can eat a lot of apples, squash, beans, lettuce, oranges, etc without over eating. I eat large amounts of food everyday. But it's all real whole foods. Processed foods just mess with your body. If your body gets the nutrients it needs the hunger will go away.

You can track what you eat and exercise on "My Fitness Pal" for free. Exercise 30 minutes 6 days a week. Nothing fancy. Find what you CAN do and DO IT.

You can pay the farmer now, or pay the doctor later. Your choice. When you loose the weight your joints will feel better.

Dr Joel Fuhrman is the best when it comes on what to eat. It's radical but effective.

Just for the record, I had to lose 80 lbs a few years ago. I did and I've kept it off. You can too. :-)

Well said, Julie and Jeannie! I'm going to take your suggestions for Mark D. and run with them! Sometimes it's great to be "reminded" of what others do that's helpful! That's why this site is so invaluable! Again, thank you! ;o)

Thanks for all the feedback. Some very good ideas. Got some walking in yesterday and worked in the garden over the week end. Harvested only 6 pounds of potatoes but they will be very healthy and delicious to eat. I would really like to learn self hypnosis - but I am concerned about finding a reputable hypnotherapist.

Good for you Mark D.! Keep it up, as any activity helps, physically and emotionally (your potato's sound yummy!). ;o)

Good for you Mark!! Walking is terrific. You are going to do this!

Hypnosis. Great idea.

Paul McKenna is the best. He has many platforms(videos, apps, books, etc) for using his technics. I have two of his smart phone apps.

"I Can Make You Thin" is good as well as "I Can Make You Sleep".

Keep up the good work!