It has been awhile since been to this site. I probably shouldn’t have left. I have been dealing with something with my life partner that I just don’t get.
We have been together for 27 years, and with the exception of the past 6 years, we’ve been doing fairly well. This is not to say it was smooth sailing, but my love for him, his love for me, and our respect for each other got us through.
About 6years ago, around the same time I started having serious back problems, our area was struck by hurricane (super storm) Sandy. Our area experienced heavy damage. We lost both cars, and our basement which contained the boiler, watetr heater, my art studio and 20 boxes of my dad’s rare books. Fortunately we sustained very little physical damage to the house. Friends of ours fared far worse- some loosing their house. Starting that night and contiuing today, my partner drinks every night until he’s tipsy. He is not nice when drunk. He doesn’t become physical, but belligerent, nasty, and mean. I and his medical doctor have tried to get him to stop, but like most addicts, he doesn’t think he has a problem.
Ok, to try and shorten this story…over the course of the next 5 years my mobility, and with it my independence, has gotten worse. Basically he seems to blame me for getting sick and ruining his life; that I don’t display enough gratitude for all he does, because in his mind I survived Sandy because him - which is just not true. In 2014, when I finally got home after having back surgery, I broke down and told him how grateful I was that he was with me. To this day, he constantly brings up that moment. He says that I never loved him, that any other man would have left me by now, and that I’m the cause of his problems. Then in the very next breath, he says he loves me, feels obligated to take care of me. Every day it is this seesaw ride. I’m confused, angry, hurt, saddened, etc. I think our relationship is ending, and I just don’t understand why. After all these years together, I thought we could weather any storm. Guess I was wrong. So now I can’t live by myself, but it looks like I might.