Scared!

I have to go to court for an ugly custody battle. Because my son doesn't want to see his alcoholic dad. I have to prove to the court I am capable of taking care of my 13 year old son. And everyone knows how we get when were scared or nervous.

Just a practical tip, I take Hops to calm my nerves. That is the stuff that is relaxing from bear without the bad effects of alcohol. It comes in a pill form. They also have a drop you put under your tongue called rescue remedy that some swear by. I am all about natural or herbal stuff.

Im no expert on custody cases, but I would think that your son's ability to verbalize himself would preclude any of your limitations. It is not just your word against his

Is hops on the shelves at the store? I will try anything. Thanks!

It is at any health food store with Nature’s Sunshine products but I get mine shipped to my house every month as I take 5 different herbs and I am partial to Nature’s Sunshine products but there is none close to me that I know of. Plus, I don’t drive.

I wish you the best luck in the world. I am married to an alchoholic, who is mentally abusive. We have a beautiful 5 year old daughter, and he always tells me he wants a divorce because of my ataxia. He is very mean to me with my problems. I still can drive and walk with the help of a cane (sometimes I use a walker). I can't stand him for the way he makes me feel. He just recently yelled at me and blamed his drinking on my ataxia. What a man!!! I am afraid to divorce him, fearing I could lose my daughter, and I am scared I need help taking care of myself sometimes. Not much, but just with getting around. Put my trouble aside, your son is old enough that he should be able to tell the judge how he feels. Let me know how it turns out. Good Luck!!!!

Hi butterflyaway

We know what its like to be with an alcoholic. Its a nightmare. You think things, that you cant believe you could. Yea I know how much of men they can be. I got my divorce back in 2007. I gave up everything to get my son. Because you can not prove an alcoholic on less he gets a drunk driving. Which the way he drank it was easy. After he got his drunk driving he hit rock bottom. Did he learn from that? No. But then I went to court again, And I got full custody of my son. Now its been 2 years and now he wants to see my son. Which would be okay. But we know how rotten they can be. But the courts dont look at it realistically. I will let you know how it goes. Hang in there with your life. Please be safe!

Thanks John, Ill keep thinking that.

John "JC" Colyer said:

Be confident for your son, your a mom before Ataxian

Hi

I was in AA myself and haven't drunk alcohol for 10 years so there is hope and I know a little bit about the problems you are facing.Good luck with the custody battle.I also brought my son up.He was 5 and now he is 25.It doesn't go on forever.

Good for you Marine! I am always hoping for my sons case. Plus I see how unhealthy it is. Thank you for the kind words. I know I can do it. I have been doing it. But ataxia makes you look like you cant!

Thank you for your responce. My husband has gotten about 5 DUI's. When we got married I didn't have any ataxia symptoms. Everything was great. He goes on binges. I didn't realize this at the time we got married. Now it is just, like you said, a NIGHTMARE!!!! I cannot work any more, and collecting disability, which is not much. I don't think that I could make it on my own.

Lori said:

Hi butterflyaway

We know what its like to be with an alcoholic. Its a nightmare. You think things, that you cant believe you could. Yea I know how much of men they can be. I got my divorce back in 2007. I gave up everything to get my son. Because you can not prove an alcoholic on less he gets a drunk driving. Which the way he drank it was easy. After he got his drunk driving he hit rock bottom. Did he learn from that? No. But then I went to court again, And I got full custody of my son. Now its been 2 years and now he wants to see my son. Which would be okay. But we know how rotten they can be. But the courts dont look at it realistically. I will let you know how it goes. Hang in there with your life. Please be safe!

Luckily I didn't have ataxia when I married for the third time but I know what it was like hauling myself into work and trying to do the best for my son.Now its all over I have Ataxia.I can't win.

My daughter left home at 13 to live with her dad.The hurt was worse than the divorce but it was certainly my rock bottom.I was determined to get her back nd good people kept encouraging me with she'll be back and sure enough she was after two years.Keep safe and sober nd trust that he will be ok.My ex husband drove fast and I used to worry needlesssly he wouldnt be looked after but he was .My son and daughter now have a good relationship with their father and I am glad now that I put that first nd not the bitterness and anger at the time.It was hard though!!I din't get left because of my drinking.That ca me after with years of depression.

Marie

so sorry Marie. If it was just the drinking. My son and I always have put our feelings aside. But my ex is so mentally abusive.He is name calling. He lies about everything. Hes mad at the world. He keeps telling me I'm going to jail. But he also said, if I tell the judge I have my sickness. He might go easy on me. (sickness) Give me a break. And worse of all he thinks he owns us. I would love for my son to have a good relationship with both his parents. But when I saw the look on my sons face the last time he was with his dad. It crushed me. My son is not a little boy any more. He feels he should have some rights. And having ataxia is very hard. But it sounds like your life with your family is going good.

Mental abuse is horrid.It can make you feel as if its all your fault.The ataxia doesn't hold me back ;it just makes me slower and can be frustrating but its not as debilitating as depression which is of course invisible.I use my mind a lot to get round things.

I'm afraid lying and control go hand in in hand with alcoholics and they say and do ridiculous things but they are ill.Your ex needs to get in AA or equivalent.Its not your fault;it just happens.

You and your son have just got to carry on with your life.The judge will be familiar with alcoholics and their ways.

Marie

Hi butterflyflyaway

My husband is an alcoholic [been sober for a long time] and I found a lot of help in Al-Anon, which is for the family & friends of people with a drinking problem. I have found it very helpful to be able to talk to others who also live or who have lived with it. They can also give you some very helpful suggestions. It has also helped me to cope with this.



butterflyflyaway said:

Thank you for your responce. My husband has gotten about 5 DUI's. When we got married I didn't have any ataxia symptoms. Everything was great. He goes on binges. I didn't realize this at the time we got married. Now it is just, like you said, a NIGHTMARE!!!! I cannot work any more, and collecting disability, which is not much. I don't think that I could make it on my own.

Lori said:

Hi butterflyaway

We know what its like to be with an alcoholic. Its a nightmare. You think things, that you cant believe you could. Yea I know how much of men they can be. I got my divorce back in 2007. I gave up everything to get my son. Because you can not prove an alcoholic on less he gets a drunk driving. Which the way he drank it was easy. After he got his drunk driving he hit rock bottom. Did he learn from that? No. But then I went to court again, And I got full custody of my son. Now its been 2 years and now he wants to see my son. Which would be okay. But we know how rotten they can be. But the courts dont look at it realistically. I will let you know how it goes. Hang in there with your life. Please be safe!

I have ca my daughter was living with her mother who drank and had substance issues she has been living with since shewas 18monthss she is four now social services where right behind me I went to court no prob that’s what your solicitor is for

Glad everything went good for you. Some of us are not so Lucky!

Lori