I hate it when your pitied. It us the worst feeling ever. You can see the pity in some people’s eyes. It’s the worst. To be pitied is like, they have no respect for you.
Could be worse - I use a wheelchair for distance, but there are times when it is a 'toss-up' whether I can walk where-ever I'm going (with a tripod on one side and husband on the other). Some days are easier than others. Last week, I decided that my short trip from car and into the local butchers shop was 'walkable'. Until I fell against an elderly lady standing next to me, that is. She grabbed hold of me (taking a handful of right breast at the same time), pushed me upright and said "I fall a bit too my dear. It happens when you're getting on a bit" - she must have been in her eighties - I am (just) 50 years old !!!!
I guess some people just can’t help it “to pity us”. But, it sucks!! I look disgusting when I walk. When I go out, if the store has a scooter, I use it. But some stores don’t, and then I get these horrible looks from people. Like oh my god, look at that poor girl. I feel so embarrassed. It makes you want to stay home. />
TJ said:
Could be worse - I use a wheelchair for distance, but there are times when it is a ‘toss-up’ whether I can walk where-ever I’m going (with a tripod on one side and husband on the other). Some days are easier than others. Last week, I decided that my short trip from car and into the local butchers shop was ‘walkable’. Until I fell against an elderly lady standing next to me, that is. She grabbed hold of me (taking a handful of right breast at the same time), pushed me upright and said “I fall a bit too my dear. It happens when you’re getting on a bit” - she must have been in her eighties - I am (just) 50 years old !!!
I would rather be out than stay at home. If they are giving you pity looks, I would just look back and say "at least I don't have (something positive) " and move on. They may have pity on you and this disease sucks but you can always find something positive. If you can, show them you are not to be pitied but praised for what you can do.
Kay said:
I would rather be out than stay at home. If they are giving you pity looks, I would just look back and say "at least I don't have (something positive) " and move on. They may have pity on you and this disease sucks but you can always find something positive. If you can, show them you are not to be pitied but praised for what you can do.
I have a range of Paddington hard stares, perfected for that very purpose. Only once have I had someone ask outright what was wrong with me - a gentleman I was in a lift with looked me slowly up and down and said "what's got you into a wheelchair then?" It wasn't said pleasantly, and he was pushed up into a corner as though I was contagious. I felt my answer of "Syphilitic Bag Lady Disease" was quite justified, especially when we alighted from the lift and he turned to a lady waiting in the lobby for him (we were in a hotel in London at the time) and heard him ask "What's Syphilitic Bag Lady Disease, and do you know if its catching?" I have no problem in answering straight forward questions from curious children ("my legs don't work properly" usually suffices perfectly well) but out and out nosiness kindles the 'bad girl' in me !
TJ you made my day. I have had strangers ask me why I use a cane. I will have to get more creative with my answers. Being looked upon with pity is terrible. I have been also been looked upon with disgust as if they think I am drunk. It makes me hate going out, especially alone but sometimes I have to. I have also met some really kind people out there. Then there are the ones that ask me if I have gotten my ears checked!!!
Linda said:
TJ you made my day. I have had strangers ask me why I use a cane. I will have to get more creative with my answers. Being looked upon with pity is terrible. I have been also been looked upon with disgust as if they think I am drunk. It makes me hate going out, especially alone but sometimes I have to. I have also met some really kind people out there. Then there are the ones that ask me if I have gotten my ears checked!!!