Does holding a cane not turn attention from looking drunk to looking old or invalid? Does it not make you look like you need help? I do not know anyone who uses a cane and all people I know using a walker are at least 20 years older than I. I apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings.
Norbert
Hi Norbert,
You didn't hurt my feelings. You are entitled to your feelings. I used to feel that way too. I am getting older, I will be 66 soon, so it doesn't bother me now to use my cane or rollator when it arrives. I can remember when I wouldn't have used it even when I needed it.
I need to use it to prevent falls because my bones break easily. I have had 9 broken bones already (mostly in my childhood). I hope I didn't upset you by bringing the topic up.
Nancy J
Hi Nancy,
I am about two years older than you and still try to look and act young even if my body protests. As far as breaking bones goes, I am from a family that was heavily into sports, and athletic. I fell many times in my life but never broke a bone, even when I fell at 70mph skiing down a slope in the Alps.
Nancy J said:
Hi Norbert,
You didn't hurt my feelings. You are entitled to your feelings. I used to feel that way too. I am getting older, I will be 66 soon, so it doesn't bother me now to use my cane or rollator when it arrives. I can remember when I wouldn't have used it even when I needed it.
I need to use it to prevent falls because my bones break easily. I have had 9 broken bones already (mostly in my childhood). I hope I didn't upset you by bringing the topic up.
Nancy J
Hello Norbert,
I am going to be 70 in a few weeks and I too was very athletic before the stroke that left me with ataxia and I have always been proud to be healthier and much better shape than people my age. In fact, I never fell my entire life, never broke a bone. I ran for 35 years without any injury, kayaked, played volley ball, tennis, even hand ball at school in my younger years. I was the picture of health.
Then, out of nowhere, at 47, heart problems ( genetic mutation) and I have lived with an implanted defibrillator for the last 23 years. But this did not stop me from still practicing sports. Then again, out of nowhere a stroke and ataxia. This time, no more sport. Because I had great balance before the stroke, I went from a wheelchair, to a walker (briefly) to a cane. But my body is now telling me that i have come to the end of the road for my progress.
I do not like to use my cane, but I take it when I walk by myself outdoors just because I do not want to fall.
And I firgot, they dropped another bomb on me recently. I have osteoporosis now ( you would think with all these activities, my bones would still be strong) and I must be very careful. I do not need a broken hip or vertebra.
All this to tell you to be careful. We never know what is in store for us. I am from a very healthy family, (with very strong bones ) where longevity reigns. My mother is 91 and in better health than me!
Remember, Norbert, you do not necessarily have to look young to feel young. I saw very young people with walkers at the rehab center after my stroke.
I may be going on 70, but I still feel very young in spite of everything.
My best wishes to you. Hope I did not offend you either. By the way, I hope I did not sound like I was bragging. I was just stating facts. I like to think that when it comes to walking aids, better be safe than sorry. 
- Take care.
Hello
First of all, who cares really, about a cane, wheelchair or rollator? As long as you are safe, and able to do things with your children. Worrying what others think and whisper to each other is really their problem. There for the grace of God, this could be them. So grab your walking aid whatever it is and enjoy your time with the kids!
I can tell you my grandmother said she wished she had used a cane years earlier, because it made a differerence in how she was treated. People were very helpful and nice to her, when she finally started using a cane. I am 49 and even though a cane probably won’t help me much, I am going to start using one. For the reasons you said, so people won’t think I’m drunk and for reassurance.
Dear Mommy Medic, I was diagnosed with ataxia eleven year ago, but had small symptoms about eight years before diagnosis. Anyway, I started using a cane about four years ago, after a bad fall (injured my back). Therefore, I use a cane when I leave my home, but am able to walk carefully in my home without it. My ataxia has progressed, and I don't feel safe and secure without a cane when out and about. I don't want to fall, as I no longer bounce like I use to...,ha! ;o)
Most of the people around me know my condition so I don't have issues and I don't really care what anyone else thinks. I have been pulled over (I was the DD and I had expired plates) and just told the officer what I had and that I couldn't pass the balance tests. They weren't happy but they did everything else. I have been considering getting a medical ID bracelet. It has been my experience that unless people have had balance issues they don't really understand so it's not worth explaining or worrying about anyone else. I know you have your kids and you know it's not because you're drunk so I wouldn't worry about it. If someone is going to turn you in for that you know it's not true so I wouldn't worry about it.
Hi Rusha,
Your post inspired me to look for canes and hiking sticks. I have to say that none of that is very enticing. If I were to really look for one of those things I would like to have the option of using it or hiding it. May be a stick that can be used as something else that does not draw attention. May be I would feel comfortable with something like that. I am probably one of the youngest people in my apartment building and like it when the women turn their heads when I pass by. An obvious stick would take away from that.
Norbert
Rusha' B. Watson said:
I can tell you my grandmother said she wished she had used a cane years earlier, because it made a differerence in how she was treated. People were very helpful and nice to her, when she finally started using a cane. I am 49 and even though a cane probably won't help me much, I am going to start using one. For the reasons you said, so people won't think I'm drunk and for reassurance.
Dear Norbert, I started using a cane when I was 45 years young...,ha!, as I took a bad fall really injuring my back. I've fallen in my home a few times when not using my cane and hairline fractured my pelvis, hurt my knees, as well as cutting the back of my head requiring nine staples. My balance is highly compromised, so I always use my cane when I leave home. I now also use my cane in my home as a rule, as falling and injuring myself is not my idea of a good time. I use to fall gracefully and bounce, not so much anymore...,ha! People I don't even know are very kind, holding doors open for me at stores, etc. I really don't care what anyone thinks, as I'd rather be safe then sorry! I use it for MY well-being! My best to you...,;o)
Pretend you are Fred Astaire… The ladies will like you even more! Canes were very fashionable then… 
Norbert,
I am so glad you are going to get a cane or hiking stick! It is hard for anybody to lose their independence. Think of how differently people will respond to you! I am also glad you are getting support from this website. Stay strong!
Rusha'
Norbert N Steiner said:
Hi Rusha,
Your post inspired me to look for canes and hiking sticks. I have to say that none of that is very enticing. If I were to really look for one of those things I would like to have the option of using it or hiding it. May be a stick that can be used as something else that does not draw attention. May be I would feel comfortable with something like that. I am probably one of the youngest people in my apartment building and like it when the women turn their heads when I pass by. An obvious stick would take away from that.
Norbert
Rusha' B. Watson said:I can tell you my grandmother said she wished she had used a cane years earlier, because it made a differerence in how she was treated. People were very helpful and nice to her, when she finally started using a cane. I am 49 and even though a cane probably won't help me much, I am going to start using one. For the reasons you said, so people won't think I'm drunk and for reassurance.
Dear Mommy Medic -- I came down with ataxia when I was 29 and my kids were six weeks and 2 years old. I couldn't walk at all, then I used a walker, then no aid at all. I now (24 years later) am using a cane, and I'm just about ready for a walker or wheelchair or something (I also have polyneuropathy) so it's like I'm going backwards.
Anyway, I wish I would have used a cane sooner than just five years ago. It's maddening to think people treat you differently whether you have a walking aid or not, but it's a reality. I think I would have been treated better by other kids' parents. And I'm thinking maybe my kids wouldn't have been so embarrassed with everyone thinking I was drunk all the time. Maybe that's just "mommy guilt."
I use the cane all the time now, but I did use it occasionally at times when I needed extra security. I think I'll be the same with the walker or wheelchair. I wondered about the same thing though about using the cane all the time or just sometimes.
I have a question for cane users. How does a cane help when even the arm holding it becomes uncontrollable?
It help beat away the wild women who want to ravish our wonderful bodies.
Yeah, but they only want to look...
gelu65 said:
It help beat away the wild women who want to ravish our wonderful bodies.
I kept tripping over the cane. Got my volaris!
Allie,
What is volaris? Am I missing a joke?
It's a rollator. Sporty one. Google it! I love it!
Before I had SCA, I had never heard of it. If I had seen someone walking like I do, I would have assumed they were drunk, too. I started using a cane before I needed it just for that reason - so they would know there was another issue.
I try to assume the best about people. It always made me feel good to hold a door or help someone in some way - I assume that helping me is a way that makes them feel good. It takes some of the pride issue away if I think that in a way I'm doing them good... In my mind, I am giving them a blessing by letting them help me and it makes it easier for me!!
By the way, I use a Nitro Drive Rolator - bright red!