Moodiness

minmay hello. I have this condition and it is hard, but it is his loss and he will regret it later. It is hard to find someone who cares. We are all human and make mistakes so what there are bigger problems out there. Good luck.

Minmay,

I am really sorry that this is happening to you. My dad has ataxia and for many years he was disrespectful and emotionally and physically abusive to my mom. I begged my mom to leave him. As a religious woman, she couldn't. And she couldnt leave a disabled man. But there were times when she just needed to leave and take a break from him and he would constantly ask when is she coming back. He never once apologized for being a jerk.

My dad was so horrible to her that even his friends were on my mom's side. They went through counseling and he didnt have one good thing to say about my mom.

Now, my dad has grown weaker and argues less with my mom. She has grown stronger and argues back with him. She stays super positive by praying, singing positive songs, and volunteers to do pedicures for the elderly. Its been 32 years.

Your fiance is going to regret what he did. Hopefully he learns that he just let go of an amazing person who deeply cared for him and that there will be no one else at that point.

Whether you get back with him or not, remember youre a strong person and you can get through anything!

hi Minmay, What a wonderful person you are, this man has no respect for you, this abuse he throws at you is not about you it is his stuff, I know that this doesnt change anything, but I would agree with others here you need to get some support for yourself, it sounds like you have alot of self doubt about your own worth. I was once told by a counselor that we allow pple to treat us the way they do.......hard to hear I know but so true, you cant change or think you can make everything right for you boyfriend, we can only work on our own behaviours and make changes in our own life. In time this man may find that he has made a huge mistake about the way he has treated you, but if you ever decide to have him back make sure that he gets the help he needs to address his issues and if he doesnt want to do this I suggest you dump him next time.

I feel sorry that you took that abuse. BE RID OF HIM!! Cut the whole thing off, quickly, easily, without blubber or histrionics. Do not apoligize or make any offer to smooth things out. If you must speak, just say that you will not talk now. And future talks will depend after a wait and depend upon his actions. After you are separated awhile, if he asks back, then talk about counciling.

You were paying for the trip for him and his daughter? Oh Minmay, that sounds like co-dependency. I have been there and so have many other people. There wasn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for some man, because of my depression and the ataxia. I was sure that he would leave if I didn’t do things his way, and then I would be alone. But now (through years of therapy, medicine for my depression, and my belief in Jesus), I am more assertive and demand respect, instead of being a doormat. You should try therapy for yourself so you can get over him and men like him. He will be able to handle his ataxia by himself. Also a belief in God will help, too.

It sounds as if he was using you to get out all his anger at the disease, and because you took it he felt safe to do so! I know its hard to stand up to him and watch him walk away but it may be exactly what he needs to face his issues. ( no more metaphorical punch bag).

He may never come back to you but I believe your both deserve better, you deserve to live with someone that loves and respects you and he deserves to deal and move on from his issues and have a happy life not a negative one.

As someone who suffers from EA2 I know it can be hard not to take out my frustration and anger on those around me but I realised long ago that its easier to deal with your issues yourself and keep those around you for support.

It gives you a much more positive outlook on life, something it sounds like he was missing!

But maybe standing on his own two feet will remedy that, then he may come back to you as a equal.

Whatever happens good luck for the future xx